Is electrified lucrativity worth it?

Reflecting today on the amount of time I spend dealing with my computer and my phone... absurd amounts as many of you know.

I have started to become increasingly sensitive to it - not wanting my phone to touch my ear or other parts of my body (only using my headpiece) and not liking my computer to be on my lap.
But I still spends way too much time using them for logistics, jobs, personal organization, etc. I've created a sort of sick dependency which I perpetuate.

I can feel the computer sucking energy out of me, draining my eyeballs and covering me radiation.

I rarely make lists on paper like I used to, or write people letters, or have an address book or calendar, take notes in notebooks, etc.

Zo recently mentioned that soon we'll have electronic books - the idea seemed unreal, books on a screen just takes away so much from the experience. But who wins at night as work has piled up and online-social networking is back=logged?

Also - hate to admit it, but a lot of my interaction is electronic because I keep moving and travelling and building a global support network rather than local - talking to my sister via videochat while I'm in Vietnam and she's in Brazil.

Hopefully soon there'll be a movement - the disconnected travel movement - which I will join. As of now it really doesn't make much of a difference where you are if you're interacting electronically - you can skype for free, video, calls, etc etc. Takes away some of the fun of "going away."

I have also spent more money on my computer than on any other one thing except for the car (that I totaled in 4 days, making $1200 mind you)

This all perpetuates dependence, and also adds a different kind of risk - rather than losing an addressbook, piece of paper, what if I lost my phone with it's 900 contacts?
(most are backed-up now).

I used to memorize phone numbers, and the only phone numbers I remember now are ones I memorized ten years ago. i don't remember much anymore - it's all backed up on a little external harddrive.

When I didn't have a cell phone (started by sharing one in 2004) and didn't have a laptop (2002), everything was non-virtual, and I didn't work consistent jobs.

Now I've set myself up so that my income is directly related to how much time I spend on the phone or computer - I am waaay too accessible. My lucrativity has become electrified.

But I'll admit, I partially like being accessible - for the late night phonecalls of recipes, or Zero 7 concerts, or ...etc

Yet one of the reasons that I have my job right now is because of that accessibility - my boss needs someone who will always answer their cell phone and always call him when he gets an important email.

So, I'm good at using electronics, good at making money using them, get paid a fair amount to use them, but they suck lifeforce out of me. Interesting trade-off.

So - contemplating disconnection.

What is Selling Out?

selling out.... what does it mean?

I realized a couple of months ago that part of my definition of "selling out" was making money - and my immediate reaction was how silly that was. Then it spurred me to wonder what i want my definition to be.

I think a better definition would be:

Spending energy/time on an activity that inherently goes against your values - only with the object of money.

For example, I struggle with the knowledge that doing any promotional jobs (handing out free product samples) for $25/hour, is essentially selling out under that definition because I am spending energy perpetuating the consumer culture.
Or am I educating consumers and giving them options?
Perhaps I am enabling them to try out a product so they have experience not just advertisements to go on?
Doesn't everyone like free products?

So perhaps it depends on the angle. Tricky.

Perhaps then it's all about the benefits and costs and must be applied on a case-by-case basis.

Am i supporting Coca Cola, a horrible company, by having them pay me $20/hour to promote Fuze - their natural vitamin drink?