The point of the virtual world....

should only be to enhance our real world experience!

Yet instead, we spend hours and hours as if staring at screen is living, interacting, being in the moment - and end in itself.

It should only be a means to make connections, conduct research, plans, organize, for real world experience. There's nothing human about

I can feel my hands drained of energy through electronic contact - feel them hurting, static, burning, my head getting fuzzy, my energy gone.

The point should be to spend the LEAST amount of time interacting with electronics, and the MOST time interacting with yourself, other humans and animals, nature!

One of my new New Years Resolutions will be WAY more efficient on the computer, so as the spend a high percentage of my time NOT using it. Use it soley and efficiently for work, some organizing, tracking, writing.

It's a modern addiction - just like a drug addiction, emotional addictions, food addictions.... and might be MORE harmful than any of them - an addiction to living a lifeless life.

My energetic over-sensitivity

I was a bit bemused and intrigued yesterday by my own sensitivities..

I grew up without television and can't ever remember living somewhere with one (besides New Orleans) that was ever turned on except for movies.
I am already an intensely sensitive person, emotionally and energetically, and combining that with a lack of experience with visual TV stimulation, has the result that I have a whole-body reaction to whatever I am receiving.

I turned on a show yesterday on Indigo Children on A & E - interesting show, with some new information, but mostly old. Regardless, it's definitely worth looking up. The focused a bit on the extreme examples, and could have put in more information regarding the over-diagnosis of indigo children with ADD and bipolar and behavioral issues - thus leading to medication which numbs them of their abilities.

After, I tried to find ABC to watch parts of the political debate.
Flipping through the channels, I would stop when I would see an actor/actress i like (Sandra bullock), or parts of a movie I like....

Each time, something would come up to which my reaction was crying - tears streaming down my face. Not crying from sadness - but a release of emotional energy.
I cried during Mrs. Doubtfire.... I cried during Stuart Little and during What Women Want.

I think I will conduct an experiment - watch bits of movies on TV like I did - and write down what emotions or situations make me cry.
Perhaps it will then help me understand myself a bit better - where my sensitivities are!

Is electrified lucrativity worth it?

Reflecting today on the amount of time I spend dealing with my computer and my phone... absurd amounts as many of you know.

I have started to become increasingly sensitive to it - not wanting my phone to touch my ear or other parts of my body (only using my headpiece) and not liking my computer to be on my lap.
But I still spends way too much time using them for logistics, jobs, personal organization, etc. I've created a sort of sick dependency which I perpetuate.

I can feel the computer sucking energy out of me, draining my eyeballs and covering me radiation.

I rarely make lists on paper like I used to, or write people letters, or have an address book or calendar, take notes in notebooks, etc.

Zo recently mentioned that soon we'll have electronic books - the idea seemed unreal, books on a screen just takes away so much from the experience. But who wins at night as work has piled up and online-social networking is back=logged?

Also - hate to admit it, but a lot of my interaction is electronic because I keep moving and travelling and building a global support network rather than local - talking to my sister via videochat while I'm in Vietnam and she's in Brazil.

Hopefully soon there'll be a movement - the disconnected travel movement - which I will join. As of now it really doesn't make much of a difference where you are if you're interacting electronically - you can skype for free, video, calls, etc etc. Takes away some of the fun of "going away."

I have also spent more money on my computer than on any other one thing except for the car (that I totaled in 4 days, making $1200 mind you)

This all perpetuates dependence, and also adds a different kind of risk - rather than losing an addressbook, piece of paper, what if I lost my phone with it's 900 contacts?
(most are backed-up now).

I used to memorize phone numbers, and the only phone numbers I remember now are ones I memorized ten years ago. i don't remember much anymore - it's all backed up on a little external harddrive.

When I didn't have a cell phone (started by sharing one in 2004) and didn't have a laptop (2002), everything was non-virtual, and I didn't work consistent jobs.

Now I've set myself up so that my income is directly related to how much time I spend on the phone or computer - I am waaay too accessible. My lucrativity has become electrified.

But I'll admit, I partially like being accessible - for the late night phonecalls of recipes, or Zero 7 concerts, or ...etc

Yet one of the reasons that I have my job right now is because of that accessibility - my boss needs someone who will always answer their cell phone and always call him when he gets an important email.

So, I'm good at using electronics, good at making money using them, get paid a fair amount to use them, but they suck lifeforce out of me. Interesting trade-off.

So - contemplating disconnection.