And they are all based on fear.
I was meditating with my (our) cat sitting in front of me doing the same, and wondering about my different levels of being my crazy funny weird self in front of people - imagining how its quite energy wasteful to have to work towards that comfortability with everyone. And that I might not get there with everyone because they might have their own issues going on and not be able to show consistent replies - thus enabling me to create a fear of their response.
Hmmmm, what a silly cycle. Perhaps I could stop it right here and now by changing my REACTION to their response. Being who I am for ME, not for anyone else's response.
Then, I would never have to fear their reaction, worry about getting to a comfortable stage - and it would sure weed through people who won't like the crazy comfortable me more quickly.
That's the trick to figure out now of course. Has to do with self-love and self-confidence - that no matter what I do I will react positively and lovingly towards myself no matter their reaction or other external factors.
Showing posts with label personal development. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal development. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
What's personal? Anything?
While reading "The Four Agreements: Chapter 3: Don't Take Anything Personally" it was hard for me to reconcile a broken heart with the words I was reading.
So if it's not personal that someone choses someone else over you - then I guess it must have something to do with the person who is choosing?
Perhaps your heart isn't being broken, but you are sad for the lost potential - when you have the choice to be happy that something happened and positive about what the future holds because you are confident and wonderful within yourself.
In my case, it's not as much as a broken heart, but a sadness that another will receive the treatment and attention that I yearned for and know I deserve and was trying to give. Thus it's time or overdue to reach out to find what I'm looking for elsewhere - that I shouldn't be upset that another person recognizes they are unable to be in the sort of relationship/connection that I'm looking for (maybe they are even sad about that) - but I should be happy that they recognized it and were able to move the energy forward towards us both finding healthier and more positive connections.
What about rejection? Is that personal? Hard to see how it couldn't be. Yet, I do firmly believe that nothing is personal. So then perhaps it is the other person's lack of recognition of how great you are - or their recognition of the fact that you wouldn't relate as well as you think - or it's timing - or it's their realization that for them, the situation isn't as ideal or wonderful as you think it is for you. That you may get a lot from it, but they aren't experiencing the same.
Another aspect is that you might think you are feeling rejection - when it might have nothing to do with the situation - but with past associations, or perhaps you're feeling afraid, you're feeling lost, maybe you don't even want to be with that person - you just want to be with someone. Maybe you're worried that despite there being 6 billion people out there, that you won't find another person to relate to.
In the end, I firmly do believe what I read, that nothing is personal. And when anything feels personal, I will be confident that I will be able to look at it from a new perspective or light that will enable me to understand how I am wrong - and how I can take the negativity created - and transform it into positivity.
So if it's not personal that someone choses someone else over you - then I guess it must have something to do with the person who is choosing?
Perhaps your heart isn't being broken, but you are sad for the lost potential - when you have the choice to be happy that something happened and positive about what the future holds because you are confident and wonderful within yourself.
In my case, it's not as much as a broken heart, but a sadness that another will receive the treatment and attention that I yearned for and know I deserve and was trying to give. Thus it's time or overdue to reach out to find what I'm looking for elsewhere - that I shouldn't be upset that another person recognizes they are unable to be in the sort of relationship/connection that I'm looking for (maybe they are even sad about that) - but I should be happy that they recognized it and were able to move the energy forward towards us both finding healthier and more positive connections.
What about rejection? Is that personal? Hard to see how it couldn't be. Yet, I do firmly believe that nothing is personal. So then perhaps it is the other person's lack of recognition of how great you are - or their recognition of the fact that you wouldn't relate as well as you think - or it's timing - or it's their realization that for them, the situation isn't as ideal or wonderful as you think it is for you. That you may get a lot from it, but they aren't experiencing the same.
Another aspect is that you might think you are feeling rejection - when it might have nothing to do with the situation - but with past associations, or perhaps you're feeling afraid, you're feeling lost, maybe you don't even want to be with that person - you just want to be with someone. Maybe you're worried that despite there being 6 billion people out there, that you won't find another person to relate to.
In the end, I firmly do believe what I read, that nothing is personal. And when anything feels personal, I will be confident that I will be able to look at it from a new perspective or light that will enable me to understand how I am wrong - and how I can take the negativity created - and transform it into positivity.
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