The point of the virtual world....

should only be to enhance our real world experience!

Yet instead, we spend hours and hours as if staring at screen is living, interacting, being in the moment - and end in itself.

It should only be a means to make connections, conduct research, plans, organize, for real world experience. There's nothing human about

I can feel my hands drained of energy through electronic contact - feel them hurting, static, burning, my head getting fuzzy, my energy gone.

The point should be to spend the LEAST amount of time interacting with electronics, and the MOST time interacting with yourself, other humans and animals, nature!

One of my new New Years Resolutions will be WAY more efficient on the computer, so as the spend a high percentage of my time NOT using it. Use it soley and efficiently for work, some organizing, tracking, writing.

It's a modern addiction - just like a drug addiction, emotional addictions, food addictions.... and might be MORE harmful than any of them - an addiction to living a lifeless life.

Always excuse to not be yourself

And they are all based on fear.

I was meditating with my (our) cat sitting in front of me doing the same, and wondering about my different levels of being my crazy funny weird self in front of people - imagining how its quite energy wasteful to have to work towards that comfortability with everyone. And that I might not get there with everyone because they might have their own issues going on and not be able to show consistent replies - thus enabling me to create a fear of their response.

Hmmmm, what a silly cycle. Perhaps I could stop it right here and now by changing my REACTION to their response. Being who I am for ME, not for anyone else's response.
Then, I would never have to fear their reaction, worry about getting to a comfortable stage - and it would sure weed through people who won't like the crazy comfortable me more quickly.

That's the trick to figure out now of course. Has to do with self-love and self-confidence - that no matter what I do I will react positively and lovingly towards myself no matter their reaction or other external factors.

What's personal? Anything?

While reading "The Four Agreements: Chapter 3: Don't Take Anything Personally" it was hard for me to reconcile a broken heart with the words I was reading.
So if it's not personal that someone choses someone else over you - then I guess it must have something to do with the person who is choosing?
Perhaps your heart isn't being broken, but you are sad for the lost potential - when you have the choice to be happy that something happened and positive about what the future holds because you are confident and wonderful within yourself.
In my case, it's not as much as a broken heart, but a sadness that another will receive the treatment and attention that I yearned for and know I deserve and was trying to give. Thus it's time or overdue to reach out to find what I'm looking for elsewhere - that I shouldn't be upset that another person recognizes they are unable to be in the sort of relationship/connection that I'm looking for (maybe they are even sad about that) - but I should be happy that they recognized it and were able to move the energy forward towards us both finding healthier and more positive connections.

What about rejection? Is that personal? Hard to see how it couldn't be. Yet, I do firmly believe that nothing is personal. So then perhaps it is the other person's lack of recognition of how great you are - or their recognition of the fact that you wouldn't relate as well as you think - or it's timing - or it's their realization that for them, the situation isn't as ideal or wonderful as you think it is for you. That you may get a lot from it, but they aren't experiencing the same.

Another aspect is that you might think you are feeling rejection - when it might have nothing to do with the situation - but with past associations, or perhaps you're feeling afraid, you're feeling lost, maybe you don't even want to be with that person - you just want to be with someone. Maybe you're worried that despite there being 6 billion people out there, that you won't find another person to relate to.

In the end, I firmly do believe what I read, that nothing is personal. And when anything feels personal, I will be confident that I will be able to look at it from a new perspective or light that will enable me to understand how I am wrong - and how I can take the negativity created - and transform it into positivity.

The right path... the right moment....

Blessed are the moments when you are gently reminded that you are on the right path, whether for that moment, or that second when you are yet again made aware of a recurrent theme - something that gently pops up in various situations over time. When you are ready to listen, you are ready and will pursue with some energy to find out what is lurking behind your feelings and intuitions - new paths, doors, and opportunities.

What a joy.

This evening I went to the Austin Energy Healer meetup group, where we learned about Eric Pearl's Reconnective healing. From my understanding - the energy work reconnects your own energetic body's meridians and grids with that of the earths. Yummm

We also spoke about people who have "problems" with electronics.... lights going off around them, or watches stopping, etc. Scientists have found that those people have been in contact with gamma rays which are only naturally found in outer space.

A recurrent them, coming up briefly mentioned over the past couple of years is the lost Keys of Enoch - a book from the bible that was taken out when, whoever it was, took out anything related to mysticism or quantum physics.

I shall get my hands on it!

An energy healer, able to feel that the growths I was talking about were on the inside of my feet near the ball of my feet, explained how it makes sense they would be there based on my explanation of a lack of ability to release my energy downwards to Gaia - reconnect and ground and center. Sometimes my feet are 4 times their size energetically - and the other day it was moving up my leg more than ever. This seems to be one of the most important things for me to work on right now - releasing back into Gaia, so that the growths on my feet - fibrotic that is - don't become permanent.

He attributed this to a mistrust that I have with Gaia - whether from this life or a past life - and I am ready to explore that and reconnect.

I was relieved to be surrounded by a community of people who, as myself i know is true, aren't interested in pharmaceuticals or surgery - but know that as everything is connected physically and energetically and emotionally - that there are always alternatives to try first. Especially regarding medication! It's the classic problem.... solving a symptom of a problem without addressing the problem itself.

The answer is always within - and within is no different than without, we just choose to differentiate with a "self." Thus if you are truly looking within and trusting yourself, the universe will reply when you are ready to recognize its response.

If we don't trust ourselves - what can we trust?

The profit flaw

inherently within the idea of profit is inequality... that one person can give their energy.... and receive less back in exchange for it... thus the surplus is given to someone else - they are thus receiving more energy than they are giving.... thus perpetuating their power to do so.

I am not saying that those with great ideas or specials skills shouldn't be compensated....hmmm I'll have to think more on this one.

My energetic over-sensitivity

I was a bit bemused and intrigued yesterday by my own sensitivities..

I grew up without television and can't ever remember living somewhere with one (besides New Orleans) that was ever turned on except for movies.
I am already an intensely sensitive person, emotionally and energetically, and combining that with a lack of experience with visual TV stimulation, has the result that I have a whole-body reaction to whatever I am receiving.

I turned on a show yesterday on Indigo Children on A & E - interesting show, with some new information, but mostly old. Regardless, it's definitely worth looking up. The focused a bit on the extreme examples, and could have put in more information regarding the over-diagnosis of indigo children with ADD and bipolar and behavioral issues - thus leading to medication which numbs them of their abilities.

After, I tried to find ABC to watch parts of the political debate.
Flipping through the channels, I would stop when I would see an actor/actress i like (Sandra bullock), or parts of a movie I like....

Each time, something would come up to which my reaction was crying - tears streaming down my face. Not crying from sadness - but a release of emotional energy.
I cried during Mrs. Doubtfire.... I cried during Stuart Little and during What Women Want.

I think I will conduct an experiment - watch bits of movies on TV like I did - and write down what emotions or situations make me cry.
Perhaps it will then help me understand myself a bit better - where my sensitivities are!

OCCUPATION-what do you occupy yourself with?

Every now and then I come across words and realize that I now more fully understand their meaning.... it often makes me feel quite silly, but it's fun.
Like enlighten.... to add light to.
Compost.... comes from decompose...

And more recently that the word Occupation.... comes from to occupy yourself with.

So what is your occupation? What do you occupy yourself with?

That completely turns me off from having an Occupation at all. I don't want to OCCUPY my time with something....

Rather I would prefer to Enjoy my time or perhaps Give my energy to something, regardless of time. Take time out of the equation, and Give and Receive energy.

Or better yet...create an energetic symbiotic relationship with people and activities and places.

If anyone asks me what my occupation is, I will reply that I don't Occupy myself with something - which seems to mean that you distract yourself from doing something else.

Better to have loved....

and lost than to never have loved at all.

I would like to revise that:
Better to have loved and learned than never to have loved at all.

Or maybe just better to have loved! How can loving be losing?

If you lose that love in the present, you have not lost it in the past, it is forever yours. If you love yourself, then you never lose love in the present. If you are open, and unexpecting, you will find external love again. Take the moment to breathe and love yourself - focus inwards.
You will never "lose" love - it is within you.